EQ Unlocked: Regulation Before Awareness. Choice Follows.

This episode is a moment of clarity. I know who I am now and this is where we're going. 
For years, I’ve shared my voice publicly—through social media, books, and past podcasts—often speaking honestly, but from a place shaped by hurt, pain, and unresolved trauma. That content was real, and it mattered. But it wasn’t the full picture.
What changed wasn’t time. It was intention.
I came to realize that I was still living in survival mode—and that if I truly wanted to help others develop emotional intelligence, I had to invest deeply in my own growth first. That meant stepping back, doing the work, and spending significant time, energy, and resources on understanding myself, regulating my nervous system, and finding peace.
In this episode, I reflect on the difference between speaking from pain and speaking from clarity. I talk openly about past content that was rooted in trauma, not with shame or embarrassment, but with honesty and responsibility. Growth doesn’t erase the past—it reframes it.
If you’ve ever looked back at an older version of yourself and felt discomfort, this conversation is for you. Past mistakes don’t equal failure. They’re often proof that growth is happening.
This episode isn’t about taking anything back.It’s about showing what growth actually looks like.
 
Website: https://matthewfstevens.comEQ Unlocked Hub: https://matthewfstevens.com/eq-unlockedRequest a Conversation: https://matthewfstevens.com/contact

This episode is for anyone who has experienced sexual abuse and still carries its impact in their body, relationships, or sense of self. You don’t need to relive anything to listen, and you don’t need to be “healed” to belong here.
I talk honestly about why survivors’ reactions make sense, how trauma shapes the nervous system, and how healing isn’t about forcing strength or forgiveness—it’s about restoring safety and choice at your own pace.
If this conversation brings something up for you, that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It means your body remembers. You’re allowed to pause, take breaks, and move through this in the way that feels safest for you.
You were never weak. And you don’t have to carry this alone.

In this episode of EQ Unlocked, Matthew F. Stevens explores why emotional intelligence always begins with awareness—not control, perfection, or performance. He breaks down what self-awareness really is, how trauma can make it feel unsafe to notice our own thoughts and feelings, and why gentle curiosity is more powerful than self-criticism. This episode offers practical, trauma-informed steps to build awareness in everyday life, relationships, family, and work.

Before the core episodes of EQ Unlocked begin, this precursor provides essential clinical and experiential context for the conversations ahead. Matthew F. Stevens explains the trauma-informed lens of the podcast, the role of emotional intelligence and the nervous system, and how lived experience and clinical understanding intersect. This episode sets expectations for safe listening, thoughtful reflection, and growth without pressure, blame, or urgency.