Regulate First: The Missing Step in Emotional Intelligence

Host Matthew F. Stevens reverses the traditional emotional intelligence order, arguing that regulation must come before awareness and choices. He explains that insight without nervous-system recovery leads to rumination and repeated behaviors, and shares personal stories and client examples to show how regulation creates space for accurate awareness and better decisions.

Practical takeaways include learning to lower baseline stress, using simple regulation practices, and asking whether your nervous system is calm enough to respond rather than react. The episode emphasizes that regulated presence improves relationships, leadership, parenting, and overall decision-making.